not_as_much_as

what do u want to be treated?

this is a very difficult question from nobuo. what do i really want to be treated by japanese? it seems that i have so many compliants towards them but i don't know exactly know what i want. i am not sure whether it is because i know too well that i am not able to do what i really want to request from them. or, i don't think people in hong kong or chinese community can treat "others" as i want too. i hope that it is because i am not treated badly.

yes, probably. (cos i can find very good people)
i may be angry about what i can see here may possibly also happen in hong kong.

but no, i did feel bad when i saw those attitudes.

i remember how strange i felt when mika told me that it doesn't seem any japanese would say they hate america after all the post-war history and under the current domination. this seems totally different from people in korea, who can tell u straight away how much americans had done and how much they want them to leave. i don't know the number but from what i heard from classmates in a casual conversation. american camps are everywhere in japan still (of course).

how can it happen? how can german school syllabus be still decided by the american?

what makes people in japan cannot feel anything negative from the west? i don't think we, asian, have to bear this in mind all the time, but, looking at only one side of the coin is too dangerous.

i accepted what nobuo said that the situation in japan is changing. people got more interest in other asian cultures and languages. this is the first step of any forms of exchange. and actually, the general publics can do nothing about the history. however, does this give the reason to keep the current situation on? i started the conversation with nobuo because i have great envy or discomfort towards the double standard of japanese to white foreigner and other foreigner. i seriously don't want this feeling. i feel like we still need to please ourselves by pleasing the west. why do we have no interest in having our own standards? why from artists to even scientists regard themselves as established only if they are recognised by the western world.

i told nobuo that asia has probably more than half of the population in the world. why do we all like to be recognised in the west and pay no attention to the surrounding? this is very strange. this is not a normal path of development. it is not just about we like to learn european language than other closer languages, in terms of geography and culture.

is this all because i come from a colony? if so, i am glad that i am, as i have a different eye toward gender and sexuality. or, is this a problem of a closeted country? if so, how many countries have been "invisibly" colonised by america? including the u.k.?

in the conversation with marcia, i kind of find the answer to the difference between korea and japan: a physical war, not just two bombs.

marcia even told me something more horrible about raping in war. i don't know how to accept it. besides, or, actually nothing about sexual pleasure, but only about ethnical clearance. this is so horrible. it's like repeating the history in south america, erasing other races. perhaps, this is even more terrible because it is like acting out what we see in alien series.

i have to also thank for her quick answer to nobuo's question: sex and companion.

Posted by jamsen at July 16, 2004 12:51 AM