not_as_much_as

displaying myself

today, when i was chatting with marcia besides the grassland of iamas, kuni came to play football there by himself. he changed next to us behind the column behind me. this made me feel so strange and thought again why i never did this kind of things. just doing some sports.

i used to think this is a kind of independence. however, i knew later that i can even be more independent than those who are only able to do sports themselves. going to swim by myself is one thing; "going" jogging or playing football is another thing. i don't know why i always think it is strange to walk down the streets with my sports clothes and go jogging in hk although i know rationally it is not. this is probably the reason why i seldom do it and why i didn't go jogging even once in okazaki.

as strange as so, i like watching in admiration for people, kuni this time (and helen in okazaki), who can do it. it is nothing special. however, this kind of actions, which are probably just for killing one's excessive energy, are something i can't never do. going to swim is for better health. my feeling is a bit like taking medicine, even i like it a lot cos i can think and relax a lot during swimming. however, in spite of the excuse of not strong enough to run around under the sun, this is of course mostly caused by my psychological barrier.

perhaps, this is the reason i like watching others playing in the field.

i told marcia that i have never had a good health. i felt guilty every time i told a new person. i want to change. however, pain in here or there, flu or cold still keeps me from doing exercises regularly. i haven't been swimming for two weeks now.